there's nothing like the taste of vomit in the back of your throat to wake you in the morning

So while in the shower this morning, where I do my best thinking, I got in a panic because I don't know what I am doing next year. I need to start figuring this out soon. I feel like I need panic to work. I try to not procrastinate, but sometimes, I think that's the only way I can function. Up until now I haven't had anything pressing me for time, now I have several. In a strange, uncomfortable way, I feel at home.